I prefer the first iteration. The current iteration puts too much emphasis on the "HUGO BOSS" sign, and yesterday's kills the dynamic of the passing car. If pressed to process the shot, I would bring the red trails to horizontal, and match the color of the dress in the window. To really commercialize it, I'd apply the rule of 3rds, only because it would work. The pedestriain's pose opposing that of the manequin, (and your excellent choice of subject,) make the composition work. Cheers.